People might not remember what you said but....

...they’ll remember how you made them feel

Rewind 18 months, what were you doing?

My job in events was very much still on hold, anxious thoughts flooding my mind whilst trying to get a grip on reality.

I was feeling lost, but looking back, it felt like an incredible part of my journey for better or worse.

A brief dip into my time during the pandemic I worked for several different companies.

Amazon sorting warehouse, delivering Peloton bikes, Waitrose delivery driver.

What has that got to do with how you make people feel?

I’ll tell you.

One frosty Sunday morning just before Christmas 2020 I was a delivery driver for Waitrose, usually managing around 20-25 deliveries per shift. That day was similar to most other days and I was still very new to the job - the job felt awkward at first after telling my line manager what I normally did for a living. I felt overqualified, or so I thought, until this.

I swung around a corner in a sleepy cul-de-sac in Camberley. A well dressed elderly customer was clinching at the front room curtain as I arrived, eagerly waiting for her food delivery slot. I pulled over, rattled around in the back of the van stacking up crates onto my trolly. Rubbing my hands together to make some heat. I briskly walked up the ladies driveway to the front door - without knocking, the door opened as she’d been expecting me.

Everything was loose. I offered to pack everything into bags for her, she was delighted.

My fingers a bit numb from the cold were now slowly warming up whilst neatly packing her bags, keen to scan everything and get back into my warm van.

This woman gladly taking the packed bags asking me day to day things, the weather, the pandemic, a gesture of gratitude as we were helping people who couldn’t get out.

A tone of loneliness crept into her voice.

She then told me she had a husband who was very ill and they couldn’t go anywhere, nor allowing any visitors in case his condition worsened.

What happened next threw me off guard.

She started crying.

There was me thinking I was overqualified to be delivering food to people’s houses - when I had to think on my feet and emotionally empathise with this poor lady. I didn’t have any training for emotional support. I just reacted as you or I would in the moment.

I was busy, did I have the time for that?

Not really, I had to go.

Instead, I stood out in the cold and just listened, offering some support. I lost track of time for a few minutes as I felt I had a duty of care and listen to someone who I didn’t know and would probably never see again.

After making her feel ok enough to lead herself back into her house, she apologised for the outburst. I said it was fine and sorry to hear of her struggles.

Like so many people during that time, it was an emotional rollercoaster.

As she turned to go she said that she really appreciated me helping her.

I was just being human, empathising with her situation unconditionally. It was about making her feel better about a difficult situation.

This taught me a lesson.

Giving people your time and attention to get to their level of thinking and understanding is actually a really important skill.

I’ve never classed myself as a great listener to be honest, but I do it when I can to help people, to try and get where they’re coming from.

How I made her feel during that interaction really stuck with me. On one hand I felt like I hadn’t done anything, but on the other, I’d helped someone that day.

I went on to meet a few customers like that.

I’ve recently done a post on appreciation. It ties in with that. Making someone feel acknowledged and recognised for something is valuable.

How did you feel when you went to Meet your future in-laws for the first time? Or your HR manager or hotel reception.

You’ll recall being made to feel welcome and looked after, or you won’t.

You’ll feel valued at work, or you won’t.

You’ll have felt encouraged by teachers at school, or you won’t.

You’ll feel loved by your family and friends, or you won’t

Be clear on how you want people to feel in your team or organisation. Do you offer a sense of togetherness, as blokes, we normally do a bear hug, fist bump or hi-5. It’s our way of saying, I value you as a mate, as part of our tribe.

That might not always be appropriate at work (haha), but you could find a way to communicate this.

So that’s this weeks food for thought.

Have a great week and make someone at work or in your personal life feel welcome.

Drop a comment or a like if you enjoyed this post.

Catch ya later,

Simon